Sunday, December 15, 2013
Overtired
I am having trouble sleeping these days. I am usually a good sleeper and can sleep through fireworks. But these nights, even though feeling very tired, when I lie in bed I just can't drift to sleep. I thought of all possible reasons for that - could it be the Chinese tea I had after dinner? The coffee in the morning? Too much mobile phone? The computer? Too much TV before bed? Then, this morning, it suddenly strikes me that I have been overtired. That's pretty much like a baby being overtired. I rarely put my baby to bed OT as they are in good routine. I know the impact of OT in babies which can result in a 'disaster'. But I never know what they feel like. Now I know. I lie on the bed trying to go to bed, but can't. Instead I listen to every sound and noise around me. I get grumpy with my husband banging pots and pans while doing the dishes in the kitchen. So that's what it's like, being overtired.
I often regret about not going to bed earlier. Kids go to bed around 7/7.30pm. I could have gone to bed straight after dinner. But I want some 'me' time. Night always seems to be the perfect time to do stuff. Check email, to watch TV, to read. After a long day of looking after the kids I just want to unwind and do my own stuff.
Maybe tonight I should start going to bed early. So I tell myself every night.
Friday, December 13, 2013
I am starting this blog, again.
My first blog. Maybe not. I logged in for the very first time and realised I actually have this blog account with Google, had posted one and there were 3 drafts that haven't been published, back in 2010. That is a long time ago.
Do we need another blogger? What am I going to write? Who wants to read my blog? Is my life interesting enough to be published? When I first started this blog, my life story was pretty much boring. Gotten married, fell pregnant which ended in miscarriage, then pregnant again and welcomed our first living baby to our family. Before that, my dad passed away from stroke after a long coma. Few years later my oldest sister passed away too, and the cause of death, to be honest I am not still not clear. So that was my life. I thought, what could be the worse that would happen to me, after losing my dad and sister. Then when we first tried for baby, it ended up in miscarriage. She was found to have suffered from amniotic band syndrome. We lost her at 16 week. So, what more could go wrong. Then, a horrible event took place that forever changes my life. Our life. I was sent into a dark place for a long time. I ask "why me" everyday. Others will always comment "I couldn't imagine the pain you are in" or "I couldn't imagine what you are going through". It's true. No one could, unless he/she has gone through it themselves. We lost our second unborn child, our son, Lucas, at 36 week.
Though, this blog is not just that. I have wanted to write more. My mind never stops running. I always have lots of things in my mind. I need an outlet, and blog seems to be a good place. Why not just put it on your FB status, one might ask. The thing is, I don't really want to bore those on my friend list with my thoughts. "But who cares, it's your wall, you write whatever your want and if they don't like it, they can bugger off!!". That's a very common response when someone complains about others complaining about their status on their own wall post (confusing I know). I say that too, and I also complain about others constant update status of their cute squeeshie baby (oh wait a minute, that's me!). So I thought a blog is good. Whoever wants to read it, they are welcome to. If not, don't bookmark it.
So this space is about my journey. I want to write about my precious boy Lucas, my 2 girls (one arrived after her older brother). My family. Maybe about food too (I have a thermie and everyone has thermie seems to have a blog). Ridiculous things that others do which I don't get why. Anything and everything, really.
Lastly before I end this entry, would like to say Thank You to a dear friend, Jasmine. She is actually the reason I pick up where I left off. She sent me a lovely message and mentioning writing blog could be good for me. I think it will be too. Thanks, Jas xx
Do we need another blogger? What am I going to write? Who wants to read my blog? Is my life interesting enough to be published? When I first started this blog, my life story was pretty much boring. Gotten married, fell pregnant which ended in miscarriage, then pregnant again and welcomed our first living baby to our family. Before that, my dad passed away from stroke after a long coma. Few years later my oldest sister passed away too, and the cause of death, to be honest I am not still not clear. So that was my life. I thought, what could be the worse that would happen to me, after losing my dad and sister. Then when we first tried for baby, it ended up in miscarriage. She was found to have suffered from amniotic band syndrome. We lost her at 16 week. So, what more could go wrong. Then, a horrible event took place that forever changes my life. Our life. I was sent into a dark place for a long time. I ask "why me" everyday. Others will always comment "I couldn't imagine the pain you are in" or "I couldn't imagine what you are going through". It's true. No one could, unless he/she has gone through it themselves. We lost our second unborn child, our son, Lucas, at 36 week.
Though, this blog is not just that. I have wanted to write more. My mind never stops running. I always have lots of things in my mind. I need an outlet, and blog seems to be a good place. Why not just put it on your FB status, one might ask. The thing is, I don't really want to bore those on my friend list with my thoughts. "But who cares, it's your wall, you write whatever your want and if they don't like it, they can bugger off!!". That's a very common response when someone complains about others complaining about their status on their own wall post (confusing I know). I say that too, and I also complain about others constant update status of their cute squeeshie baby (oh wait a minute, that's me!). So I thought a blog is good. Whoever wants to read it, they are welcome to. If not, don't bookmark it.
So this space is about my journey. I want to write about my precious boy Lucas, my 2 girls (one arrived after her older brother). My family. Maybe about food too (I have a thermie and everyone has thermie seems to have a blog). Ridiculous things that others do which I don't get why. Anything and everything, really.
Lastly before I end this entry, would like to say Thank You to a dear friend, Jasmine. She is actually the reason I pick up where I left off. She sent me a lovely message and mentioning writing blog could be good for me. I think it will be too. Thanks, Jas xx
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
New chapter of my life
OK, I am not sure why I have created this blog. I would like to record the progress of my pregnancy, and I am lazy to handwritten them on the diary. Plus, have I mentioned that I am already in my week 37 or pregnancy?
Occasionally, I have "flow" of thoughts that I would like to put down somewhere. I guess, it's never too late to start a blog. This blog, I have decided, since it's called The Beginning of Life, I will dedicate it to my dear little one, this little baby girl who is still finding my womb a great place to live in and hopefully, she will come to this world soon, because, I can't wait to meet her.
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